none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he puts the penis in happiness.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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