They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
