If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
