also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
