She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
