Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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