He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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