Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
