Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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