Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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