If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
false alarm, still single
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
