plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
