Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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