So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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