i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
