I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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