yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i out mim tonsoeep
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
