Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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