I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
nutella sex= disaster
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
