this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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