C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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