In the future we'll all be gay
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
