Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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