today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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