and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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