your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
