We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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