he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize