I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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