Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
