she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize