I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
