I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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