i think my tv is drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He? As in you personified your dick?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize