dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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