Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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