3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize