The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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