He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
