I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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