I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
