I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
