My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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