id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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