Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.