I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride