So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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