No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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