i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
