I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
