I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
