***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize