he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
