he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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