the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
