Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
