AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize