Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
