She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
