How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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