Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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